[No place to go]

Everything's a mess, nothing fits. I don't, I can't trust anyone, everyone is fake, one day they're perfect next day they're turning their backs on you. It seems they're al hypocrites.
Everything's a lie. There's no stability, not here, not anywhere. There's no place safe, danger is in every corner. No place to call home, nothing good to rely on.
There has to be a place, a place to ie down, feel safe, de safe. Something to rely on, to trust on, something for me. Some place where there's reality, truth, peace, silence, solitude, some place that can be called home.
But home isn't about where you are, it's about where you heart belongs, and mine doesn't belong anywhere else.
My heart belongs with you.

Life soundtrack

Opening song:
That day- Natalie Imbruglia

Waking up:
Despues de ti- Alejandro lerner

First date:
Aunque sea poco- Vos veis
Again- Lenny kravitz

First kiss:
Take my breath away- Jessica simpson
Darte un beso- Mauricio y palo de agua

Falling in love:
She will be loved- Maroon 5
Santa elegía: Carlos vives
Te doy mi vida- Lucas arnau
One thing- Finger eleven
Luna nueva- Carlos vives
If you're gone- Matchbox 20
Fall to pieces- Avril lavigne

Seeing an old love:
Wherever you will go- The calling
Stranded- Michelle branch

Heartbreak:
Ay Hombe! - Jorge Celedon
Volver a empezar- Alejandro lerner
Here without you- 3 Doors down
Could it be any harder- The calling

Driving fast:
Harder to breathe- Maroon 5
In too deep- Sum 41

Getting ready to go out:
South side- Gwen stefani/Moby
One love- Blue

Partying with friends:
Papi Te Quiero - Ivy Queen
Si la vieras bailar- Kryptonita
Dile- Don omar

Dancing at a club:
Borracho Hasta el Amanecer - Los Coquillos
Amor de colegio- Hector y tito
Morena- Hector y tito

Flirting:
Believe in me- Lenny kravitz
Yo Quiero Saber - Ivy Queen

Feeling sexy:
Unbelievable - EMF

Walking alone in the rain:
Dame tu aire- Alex ubago
Could it be any ahrder- The calling

Missing someone:
Here without you- 3 Doors down
Here is gone- Goo goo dolls
Slipped away- Avril lavigne
Miss you- Aallyah

Playing in the ocean:
Animal song- Savage garden

Summer vacation:
Pobre diabla- Don omar
Metele sazon- Tego calderon
Teenage dirtbag- Wheatus

Fighting with someone:
Don't wanna think about you- Simple plan
Toguether- Avril lavigne
No se si es mejor- Fonseca
Walk away- Pink
Just like a pill- Pink
Faint- Linkin park
Nada- Juanes
Podemos hacernos daño- Juanes

Acting goofy with friends:
Mio- Paulina rubio
Maldita primavera- Yuri
Potpurri- Pandora
El besito cachichurris- Daniel luna
No puedo olvidarte- Menudo

Thinking back:
Bitch- Meredith brooks
Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
HmmBop- Hanson
Fast car- Tracy chapman
Eterna soledad- Enanitos verdes
A mil por hora- Lynda
Basket case- Green day
Persiana Americana - Soda Estereo
Dar es Dar - Fito Páez
Ironic - Alanis Morissette
Jaime molina- Carlos vives
Crazy- Aerosmith
Mi generacion- Poligamia

Feeling depressed:
No se si es mejor- Fonseca
Cry- Mandy moore
Loosing you- Busted
Que lloro- Sin bandera
Eterna Soledad - Enanitos Verdes
Goodbye to you- Michelle branch


Christmas time:
Malaika (JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA LOL)
Jingle bells- Chisrtmas classic

Falling asleep:
My winter- Sister hazel

Closing song:
Bitter sweet symphony- The verve

Enchantment part 1

I thought today was gonna be a regular day, you know a day like all the other days, a day in which nothing interesting happens. I walked into the room and headed for my chair, then sat on it, and waited. I waited for the day to start, like It always did. I felt weird though. Everything looked different, everything was so nicely placed, the windows looked different, it smelled good, the day seemed so nice. Everything seemed to be perfect. But one thing was the same as always. It was me, sitting there, alone, waiting, as I always did. Time was passing by so slowly, it was like all the clocks were freezing slowly. Why? Then I started to feel like I had never felt before. So eager, I was looking forward to know what was going to happen. Then there was silence. Perfect silence. It felt nice, I felt good. Something happened. Someone was coming in. How weird. I had never had company. He sat on a chair, beside me. There had never been another chair, not there, not for another person. But today, there was. It was nice, everything seemed to em so calmed, the air felt so fresh, my chair felt actually comfortable, it was like I actually wanted to be there. So weird, but at the same time so great. But then it was like time had gone flying away so fast, it ended so quickly. It felt so bad. He stood up and walked out of the room. And there I was, sitting on my chair, alone again. But then, he came back and he said "bye"". I smiled, stood up and walked out, walked out looking forward for tomorrow, looking forward to knw what this really is.
What...am I smiling?...

THE test...

1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: Not anymore... :(
2. Do you have a crush: Come on...no one gets over it that easily!
3. Do you love anyone right now: no
4. Have you ever been in love: i think i was very close to do so...once
5. How many people have you kissed: quite the list...*blush*
6. Who was your first kiss: jujuju Alejandro *blush*
7. How many hearts have you broken: none...i think
8. How many people broke your heart: not broken broken...just hurt
9. So what is your bf/gf/crush like: The one i wanted to keep, the one i wanted to love, the tears i dont want to drop anymore.
10. Do you go by looks or personality: Personality, but looks count ;)
11. Ever kiss a friend: Yeap
12. Are you still friends: Yes
13. Do you smoke: Yeap
14. Do you smoke weed: Nope
15. Ever trip on acid: mmm...no?
16. X?: Nope
17. Crack, heroin, anything else: Nope
18. Beer good or beer bad: Beer good, HOORRAY HORRAY A CHEER FOR BEER!
19. Are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: jajaja nope I don't think so
20. Prefer beer or liquor: Liquor
21. What kind of cigarettes do you smoke: Kool L, (belmont too)
22. Are you a virgin: Yeap
23. If no, when was the last time you got some: .... haven't got any at all.

Would you...
24. Bungee jump: Yeap
25. Sky dive: Yes please!
26. Swim with dolphins: Been there, done that
27. Scuba dive: Yeap
28. Go rock climbing: Bt,dt
29. Eat shit for $1,000,000: would you?....Of course not!
30. Turn your back on your friends for personal gain: No
31. Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: It doesn't seem to be me so... no
32. Cross-dress: Don't care.. I'm a girl
33. Lie to the police: Why not?
34. Run from the police: jejeje...sure
35. Lie to your parents: Maybe?
36. Walk up to a stranger and kiss them: Depending on the stranger ;)
37. Be an exotic dancer: jajaja No thanx!
38. Walk out of a restaurant without paying: never thought about it...but now that I do...nope!

One or the other?
67. Rock or rap: Rock
68. Rock or pop: Rock
69. Rock or punk: Both
70. Rock or metal: Rock...or both?
71. Rap or pop: Pop...or none?
72. Rap or r&b: None
73. Rap or metal: Metal...
74. Pop or emo: now that i know what EMO is and after realizing that's the music i actually like...EMO
75. Pop or metal: Metal
76. R&b or metal: Metal
77. Linkin park or limp bizkit: Linkin Park
78. Tool or korn: None
79. Selena or jennifer lopez: Selena
80. Hot or cold: Cold
81. Winter or summer: Summer
82. Spring or fall: Fall
83. Shakira or britney: None
84. Icp or eminem: Wtf is Icp?!
85. Marilyn manson or rob zombie: Marilyn Manson
86. Kittie or garbage: Garbage or kittie?...mmm
87. Mtv or vh1: Mtv
88. Buffy or angel: None...they're both CRAP!
89. Dawson's creek or gilmore girls: Gilmore Girls
90. Football or basketball: Soccer!!
91. Summer olympics or winter olympics: ...
92. Skiing or snowboarding: Snowboarding
93. Rollerblading or skateboarding: Skateboarding
94. Black or white: Black
95. Orange or red: Red
96. Yellow or green: yellow
97. Purple or pink: Purple
98. Slipknot or mudvayne: None
99. Hot topic or pac sun: PAC SUN!
100. Inside or outside: Outside
101. Weed or alcohol: Alcohol
102. Cell phone or pager: Cell Phone
103. Pen or pencil: Pen
104. Powerpuff girls or charlie's angels: PPG
105. Scooby doo or dino: Scooby Doo
106. Dragon ball z or pokemon: Pokemon
107. Star wars or star trek: Star wars
108. Tattoos or piercings: Peircings!...but tatoos are cool too
109. Prep or punk: Punk
110. Slut or whore: me? Both...JUST KIDDING!...None

The square that wanted to be free.

There once was a little square that lived with other little squares.
One day the little square was thinking about himself and the other little squares. He figured out they couldn't move,their corners wouldn't let them, they couldn't do practically anything but build. They could build a triangle if they were divided from corner to corner, they could also build rectangles if they were cut form side to side; but the little square wasn't really interested in any of those shapes, 'cause they couldn't move either. He was really sad, he didn't fit in with his friends and he couldn't do anything he wanted to do. Then, the little square looked up. He saw something approaching, he didn't really know what it was. Then he saw it. It was a group of funny figures, figures he had never seen before. He tried to go to them but he couldn't move, so he called out. The little figures heard him and moved towards him, then stared at him. They seemed to have pity for him, "look, poor little square, all alone and motionless". The little squared said "I noticed you don't have any corners like I do". "No we don't" said the figures, "wer'e circles, thats why we can move" "Circles??" asked the little square "I wish I could be one of you guys". The circles began feeeling sad for the little square, until one of them said "wait!!! I've got an idea" and he rolled away. When he came back he brought something rectangular, it seemed to be heavy. The little square didn't know why he wanted it for. But then the circle started rubbing the rectangular thing on every one of the corners on the little square. They were vanishing!!!! The corners were gone!!! The little square was so happy he could roll away with his new friends, the free circles, the ones that could move.

Reasons why...

Who's asking me if I've got reasons?
Well...I do, I have reasons. Don't know if theyre enough, and actually, don't really care.
I accept that I'm an angry person, ok, I am. But there's actually someone to blame. *Those people*. But there's nothing I'm gonna say abput it, gotta swallow it, 'cause then theyre all back at you, on top on you. Besides hypocrites theyre also parasites. There goes another reason.
Appearance. What's that again? Oh yeah, the clothes you wear and the car you drive. Well, I've got something for you....YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A DRIVERS LICENSE!!! That's reason #3, want more?
Ok I accept it, really have to stop judging, and you know why? 'cause you'll get judged because of it. Right back at ya buddy! Believe me it has happened to me (tahnkyou for giving me another reason).
And you wanna know haow all this feels like?
It feels like playing a broken guitar, surfing without waves or driving a car without gas.
And you know what's worse than that? It will never end. EVER!
That's why I do what I do, I foud its the only way to stay out of it. That's where freedom lies.
Just swallow it, swallow everything. That's how you'll slip to unconsciousness. Peace lies at the bottom of it.
It's beautiful, it actually makes me smile. I feel alone, but better. I feel safe and actually happy.
Don't punish me for doing it, you don't deserve my punishment.
You think I'm crazy, I think it's fine.
You see the lost angel in the city of night, I feel like a lucky little lady in a city of lights.
You'd rather cry, I'd rather fly.

...That's why.

*Heaven*

Would you be happier if you focused on something different?
Like in the feeling you get when you finish reading your favorite book, or when you win three games of checkers in a row, or even when you win a prize.
There's no feeling like the feeling you get everytime that *someone* says hi, or crosses your street or sits on your front porch. Or when you get to see your favorite band for the first time...live. Or even when you finally ...make it.
I don't expect you to understand, neither do I plan to explain.
It seems this is heaven for no one else...but me.

Filosofía

-Quién es usted?
-Afortunadamente no lo sé.
-De dónde viene?
-Gracias a dios lo inogro.
-A dónde va?
-Por suerte sólo el camino lo sabe, y usted?

*El hecho de que dios esté mencionado, no me hace creyente.

Qué es?

Qué es la obeja?
La obeja es una nube con paticas.
Entonces, qué es la nube?

Qué es el gato?
El gato es una gota de tigre?
Entonces, qué es el tigre?


Di NO a las drogas!

Cómo se pasa al otro lado del espejo?

"Para pasar al otro lado del espejo se necesita del valor temerario de un niño de siete años, de su facultad para convertir el azul en quetzal y la nube e garza.
Él sabe que tiene que ascender por lavertiente más peligrosa del espejo, trepar cuidadosamente para no tropezar con el brillo, afianzar con firmeza el pie para evitar hundirse en la garganta de los reflejos, y eludir el encuentro cegador con los ojos de su doble. Entonces llegará a la cúspide y pasará al resplandor del otro lado, descendiendo por la parte oscura de la luna."

Jairo Aníbal Niño

+Meeting the vampire+

Last night I was talking to a girl i met about three days ago. I had never talked to her that much before...but...since she was alone and I didn't have any other thing to do I approached to her and asked her for a cigarrette. She told me she didn't smoke...not anymore...she had to quit, then I asked her why did she HAD to quit and that's when our real conversation started.
"It's a horrible vice, besides, I don't seem to find any kind of satisfaction in it..not since...well...some things have been taking place"
"What things?"
"It's complicated...You wouldn't understand...your'e too normal"
Normal??...NORMAL!!??...Me?...Obviously she didn't know what she was talking about! It was clear she didn't know me...at all! Anyway...she noticed my face and she said...
"What?...what's wrong?"
"Well...you just...I mean...aren't you?...aren't you "normal?"
"Hahaha...listen kid,it's too complicated for you...you wouldn't understand...you'd freak out. Just forget about it."
"No, trust me, I don't get scared so easily."
"You really want to know don't you?"-And she stared at me with this very strange look in her eyes...so dark...so creepy...so deadly.
"I do wanna know? I mean it can't be that bad...right?"
"Okay..since you're insisting so much, I'm gonna tell you...I'll tell you my story, it's a long one so I hope you got time."
"Got all night. Go on...shoot."
"Well..have you ever been scared of something? I mean really scared, not the-monster-under-my-bed kinda scared. So scared you believe that something's huntig you down...stalking you?...following you?"
"Hmmm...Yeah...I mean...sort of"
"Yeah, horrible huh? you're so scared of something...something that is right behind you, something that is really near you, that may, in any moment take over you."
"Yes."
"Well...I was once scared too. I kept having these dreams, horrible dreams, I saw them all around me, and there was nothing I could do abouti it, I could just watch.
I couldn't take it, not any longer, it was really driving me nuts; till the day came, the day when I had the worst dream of all, the one in wich the completely took over me, not only were they all around me, but also inside me, but...the worst part is...it wasn't that bad, I mean...I kinda liked it y´know." "Next day I woke up feeling completely different, I just didn't feel scared anymore."
"I don't get it. I mean...what's wrong 'bout that? The fear was gone wasn't it?"
"Yeah, The bad part is when everything started to change, I started getting away from my "friends", I barely spoke to people, I didn't eat anymore, didn't feel hungry, I started quitting on everything -there goes the ciggarrette-, I barely came out of my room and...I just could go out at night. Later on I started getting interested on cementeries, but not google-search kinda interested, night-walk kinda interested, I spent lot of time there, I felt...at home. Then came the blood part, everytime I saw someone bleed and I felt hungry. After that I just couldn't take watching crucifixes or any religious stuff. Then I kept bitting my own lips, my eyeteeth weren't not an eyeteeth anymore, they became freaking fangs."
"Wow!...that's kinda creepy. But what's the really scary part?"
"Wow...kid! You were right, you don't get scared easily! I'm surprised! Ok...anyways...the scary part is that after everything changed, when I got really mad at people, I would just hunt them down at night and just...y'know...eat."
"Amazing!"
"Yup! there...you had it...my story."
"Cool...but...hey, what did you say you were afraid of again?"
"Uuum...No...I didn't say" She picked up her bag and stood up, "I was scared of VAMPIRES" And just before she turned away and left she said "Gotta go now kid, it was nice talking to you, have a nice night."
Then I got up, thinking, "vampires...wow".
Then I got home. I won't tell you what happened next, just that...I find it funny...I didn't have to quit smoking.

_+_

What is it like to be me?

What is it like to be me?
Do you really wanna know?

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be different?...To see the world in a different way from everybody else?...To feel the opposite?
Have you ever wantend more from life?...Have you ever wanted to try something new?...Go beyond?
Have you ever wanted to leave?...Run away?...Disappear?...Fade away?...Maybe even...die?
But..at the same time...live...hope you don't die...hope no one does.
Have you ever been disappointed?...Ever lost trust on anyone?...Everyone?...Everything?
Have you ever been scared?
Have you ever felt anger?...Ever hated something?...Someone?
Have you ever felt sad?...Have you ever felt like crying?...And done so
Have you ever lost hope?

Have they ever bothered you because of the way you dress?...The way you talk?...The things you write?...The things you draw?...The way you are?
Have they ever walked away?...Have they ever left you alone?...Have they forgotten all about you?
Have they ever turned their backs on you?
Are they really there?...Have they ever been there?...At all?...No...The haven't!...Have they?

Have you ever loved something?...SOMEONE?
Have you ever been loved in return?
Have you ever missed something?...SOMEONE?...Missed so much.
Have you ever been moved?...Touched?
Have you ever felt warmth?...But then again...cold? And missed again?
Have you ever been about to screw it all up?...Have you ever done so?
Have you ever made mistakes?...And accepted them?...And regretted them?
Have you ever apologized?...sincerely?
Have you ever been happy?...So happy...It made you cry?
Has love ever led you to tears?
Have you ever been...in love?

Have you ever smiled?...Laughed?
Have you ever turned your back away?...Have you ever given up?...Have you ever surrendered?
Have you ever wanted to go back?
Have you ever wanted time to stop?...Freeze?
Have you ever wanted to close your eyes?
Have you ever wanted to see the stars?
Have you ever tried to keep your stuff to you...but you just can't?
Have you ever told anyone anything?

Have you ever felt...cold?

That's what it's like to be me!

Dr. Seuss' Acohool song

En honor a Red7 here it is! That Day

That day, That day
What a mess what a marvel
I walked into that cloud again
And I lost myself
And I'm sad, sad, sad
Small, alone, scared
Craving purity
A fragile mind and a gentle spirit
That day, That day,
What a marvelous mess
This is all that I can do
I'm done to be me
Sad, scared, small, alone, beautiful
It's supposed to be like this
I accept everything
It's supposed to be like this
That day, That day
I lay down beside myself
In this feeling of pain, sadness
Scared, small, climbing, crawling
Towards the light
And it's all that I see and
I'm tired and I'm right
And I'm wrong
And it's beautiful
That day, That day
What a mess, what a marvel
We're all the same
But no one thinks so
And it's okay
And I'm small and I'm divine
And it's beautiful
And it's coming
And it's already here
And it's absolutely perfect
That day, That day
When everything was a mess
And everything was in place
And there's too much hurt
Sad, small, scared, alone
And everyone's a cynic
And it's hard and it's sweet
But it's supposed to be like this
That day, That day
When I sat in the sun
And I thought and I cried
Cause I'm sad, scared, small
Alone, strong
And I'm nothing and I'm true
Only a brave man can break through
And it's all okay
Yeah, it's okay
That day, That day
I lay down beside myself
In this feeling of pain, sadness
Scared, small, climbing, crawling
Towards the light
And it's all that I see and
I'm tired and I'm right
And I'm wrong
And it's beautiful
That day, That day
What a mess, what a marveleous mess
We're all the same
But no one thinks so
And it's okay
And I'm small and I'm divine
And it's beautiful
And it's coming
And it's already here
And it's absolutely perfect
That day, That day
That day, That day
That day, That day
When I lay down beside myself
In this feeling of pain, sadness
Scared, small, climbing, crawling
Towards the light
And it's all that I see and
I'm tired and I'm right
And I'm wrong
And it's beautiful
That day, That day
What a mess, what a marveleous mess
We're all the same
But no one thinks so
And it's okay
And I'm small and I'm divine
And it's beautiful
And it's coming
And it's already here
And it's absolutely perfect
That day, That day
That day, That day
That day, That day
That day, That day
So sweet, can you feel it?
Are you here?
Are you with me?
I can feel it
And its beautiful
That day, That day
That day, absolutely perfect

That day-Natalie Imbruglia

-You will be glad to know i didn't fucking look for the lyrics on any fucking a-zlyrics site... i did all the ficking job.. because of you-

Welcome to my lair! The dark fairy's lair...now you know why I am absoFUCKINGlutely creepy! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The girl in the little glass box

There was once a little girl, very pretty little girl actually.
She didn't know her name, she didn't know her age, she didn't know anyone...anything, but that wasn't the real problem; yes, she did have a problem, that problem appeared to be this glass box. A glass box, so beautiful, so bright, so transparent, so...perfect. But...you may wonder -what the problem was- The problem...what troubled this beautiful girl was that this glass box was her prison, yes, she was trapped in it, locked away, it made her feel so isolated, so distant, so...ignorant. It was making her crazy, she couldn't take it, but there was nothing she could do about it. It had been so long, so long since she was kept inside the glass box, away from everything, everything she didn't know, everything she was looking for. But...one day...the little pretty girl found a weakness in the box -IT WAS BREAKABLE!- This weakness would be her strength; but...how coul she break it?...she knew she needed something and that's when it hit her, so she waited, she waited for desperation to come, to take over her completely, that would make her strong, strong enough to scream, scream untill she ran out of air, scream so loud that the glass around her would slowly crack, break, fall, liberating her, letting her go, go and look for everything she didn´t know.

Nada

Esto es para....mmmm...para ti.


Ya no tengo sufrimiento
Ya no tengo quien me mienta
Ya no tengo a quien contarle lo que tengo en mi cabeza

Ya no siento desconfianza
Ya no siento mas violencia
Ya no siento que mi vida valga menos que tu ausencia

Ya no me importa tu destino
Ya solo quiero hallar el mio
Ya no me asombra tu existencia
Ya no me asombra...NADA

Ya no tengo que explicar
Ya no tengo quien me juzgue
Ya no tengo a quien pedirle una opinion sobre mi vida

Ya no siento el alma ciega
Ya no siento el alma muerta
Ya no siento que mi vida valga menos que tu ausencia

Ya no me importa tu destino
Ya solo quiero hallar el mio
Ya no me asombra tu existencia
Ya no me asombra...NADA

Para mi ya no existes...TIEMPO
Para mi ya no existes
Para mi ya no queda nada
Para mi ya no queda...NADA


Nada-Juanes